Lost In Beauty-

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

haiz...i feel reali tired and heartbroken...cant slp...trying hard...but everytime i close my eyes i see his face smiling at me...and i jus cant take it...so i went to east coast last night...alone...sat on the stone breaker and jus watched the sky empty...no stars...jus like how i'm feeling...empty...haiz...drank lots of alcohol...like margeretta and vodka...aft tt i stupidly smsed him...but of course he nvr replied until now...haiz...y?!last time i felt such pain was 4yrs ago...i told myself to protect my heart from such pain so i always tell myself tt frenz will be no.1 in my life,2nd will be family and 3rd will be my bf...but when i got together with him...everything changed...i willingly gave him my unprotected heart 4 him to keep...cos i know he is the ONE for me...but...it had to happen again...he dropped it and it is now smashed into a BILLION peices...how can i fix it back?i cant...i onli have a max of 15 more yrs to live...and u said u wont get into another relationship until u're 30+...i will wait...but i cant promise u i can live till tt day...

we control our own lives...how we live...who we love...its our decision...shldnt let any1 stop us...haiz...but i know u wont go against ur mother no matter wat...haiz...i seen more than enough in this world le....i give up...i'll nvr fix my heart...i'll jus leave it broken...so i wont waste so much of my time fixing my heart onli to get it broken again...anyway if i suddenly turn v cold dun blame me...i am from this day on...heartless.

这个世界太残酷了！我真的受不了了。哭是因为我爱你可是不能和你在一起。我不甘心！真的不甘心！为什么会变成这样？难道我不能得到和你在一起的幸福吗？

the beauty exposed ;